i don't know what i want...

ok so obviously i'm not the best at
keeping up with the whole blog thing...lol
anyways, i felt like posting something i guess

it's beautiful outside today.the sun is shining,
kids are running around like maniacs in shorts and t-shirts
you can hear birds singing, you can just smell spring

and it made me happy this morning walking to church

but even in this sudden happiness and readiness for spring,
i am still completely overwhelmed and stressed about life
i shouldn't be. i have nothing to be stressed about.
life is happening just as it's always happened so
what is possibly different in life that is causing this stress?

i have been dwelling on this thought all day...
maybe it's not good to dwell on it, but i can't help it

and i think i have finally come to a conclusion
about what's wrong with me
i don't know what i want...

i'm in my freshman year in college trying to decide what to major in
does it really matter in the long run?? well, kind of...yeah.
depends on how long a run we're talking i guess.
i can't just sit at home on my butt for the rest of my life, right?
so when people ask me what i'm going to do after college,
all i can answer is "i have no idea" and it gets frustrating
but when it goes even further and someone asks
what i'm interested in, the answer is the same "i have no idea."

how can someone have no idea what they're intersted in!!!???

so anyways, i am very overwhelmed by the fact that
i have no idea what it is i want in life...

but as i was contemplating my predicament, i thought
maybe this isn't necessarily a bad thing...
so many people in life know exactly what they want to do
but do they know what God wants them to do?

now, i have no idea what God wants me to do right now
but is it possible that not knowing what i want
could make it easier to know what God wants?
my wants can't get in the way if i don't know what they are, right??

so this is the short version of what i have been
thinking about since 9:30 this morning...
any thoughts to help me out??? lol